The Invention Of A Cuss Word
by MarieandNastia Cullen
Summary: Edward Cullen has always been the perfect gentleman, but he has a dark past... For he once invented a cuss word! Pure Comedy...
1. The Tale

The Invention Of A Cuss Word

_We made up the original story but this part we didn't make up until after we read Twilight…_

**Disclaimer: If we owned Twilight, we would be rich, and Jackie would be dead. But we don't, we aren't and she isn't… All very depressing subjects….**

BPOV

I stared at my husband while he narrowly avoided getting a speeding ticket. Then, I suddenly remembered something.

I groaned. "Oh crap! I forgot my history notebook again!!"

To my surprise Edward chuckled as he made a smooth 180 to go get it.

"What's so funny??!! I'll get in trouble!!!" I asked him.

"Not about that, love, It's just that…" He broke off in laughter. Then gathered himself up before he exploded again. "CRAP!!" He fell over in laughter.

I tried to comprehend what my vampire husband was saying. I searched my vast brain. Nothing nada, zip.

"Explain please." I said slowly, my patience wearing thin.

"Well, it's just… I sort of made that word up…" He smiled his crooked smile.

"Hahaha Edward. _Very _funny." I said sarcastically.

"No, really, It's true."

"Be serious."

"I am."

And I listened to his tale…


	2. The Invention

Edward has always been such a perfect gentleman… But there's one thing he never told anyone… One day, he invented a cuss word…

The Invention Of A Cuss Word

_The 100 years ago thing probably didn't happen, but the 100 years later DID… We actually made up the story a few months before we read Twilight. All names are incidental… (We named a dude Edward, and we realized it could've happened) Except for ours… We really Exist..._

**Disclaimer: If we owned Twilight, the movie wouldn't suck, and we'd be millionaires… But we don't, and it does, and we aren't…. **

**_________________________________________________________________**

Narrator POV

_In 1909 Edward Anthony Masen and Paul Jared Smith are best friends walking home from school after getting their palms massacred by a yardstick…_

"UGGHHH!!!! I can not believe that we got beaten for saying park!!! It isn't that much of a bad word!" Paul stormed.

"Well, perhaps we can make a new bad word…." Edward said thoughtfully…

"That is a good idea. But there leaves a problem to be solved. What is the new bad word?" Paul asked

"We shall just have to think of it…." Edward replied

Both boys walked absorbed in their thoughts.

"KRAP!!!" Edward burst out.

"Excuse me?" Paul asked.

"It is park backwards… But with a k, it shall look odd, so we shall write it with a C. Nobody but us shall know what it is!!!" Edward exclaimed.

"That's brilliant!!!"

They went home and tried it out… It worked!! Nobody knew what they were saying, and it was heaven, but then, the rest of the kids caught on, and the word crap became a cuss word. And Park was forgotten about… Until one day…


	3. The Recovery

_Thanks to our evil gymnastics teacher (who will soon die…) for making us not use the word crap, thus we thought up parc._

**Disclaimer: We own this….. Wow… Because Nastia is Nastia and Marie is Marie… Creepy… (speaking of creepy Jackie is Jackie….) WE OWN THIS!!!!!!!!! THIS DOES NOT BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOHOOO!!!!!**

The Invention of a Cuss Word

_**100 years later…**_

_(We were in the car thinking about what to say instead of crap… Because Jackie (our evil gymnastics teacher) made us not use the word crap…)_

Narrator POV

"UGGGHHH!!!!!! Crap isn't THAT bad of a word!!!!" Marie exclaimed.

"Yeah, I know, seriously!!" Nastia agreed.

"We need to think of a new one!!!!" Marie suggested. "I will not say shucks or fruit loops, and no, shuckloops isn't good enough!!!"

"AWWWW SHUCKS!!!!" Nastia exclaimed and then laughed.

"I'm serious." Marie growled.

"I agree, we need to think of something we can say instead."

Both girls thought for a minute.

"_**PARC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" **_Marie exclaimed.

"WE ARE PARKED!!!!" Nastia exclaimed as she looked at the horrible traffic.

"No, I mean it's crap backwards!!!!" Marie said excitedly.

"Oh, that's good!! But maybe we should write it with a K, that way; nobody will know that it is a cuss word, except for us!!!!"

And so they did, and no one knew it was a cuss word.

For now….

**_Later..._**

Nastia and Marie drove past Edward and Bella.

"OH PARK!!!!! I forgot my English notebook!!!!" Marie exclaimed.

"_AGAIN!!!???" _ Nastia sighed, and turned the car around.

Edward stared at them with wide open eyes. "Did they just say park????????!!!!!"

And so it continues…..


End file.
